.....

what is what?
what if were?
why is it is?
is it what it is?
what is it;s what?

i is stupid

i is need kopi..
i is very slow..
i is kopi need....

i'll never smile again...

never smile the way i used to do...
never be that way again.
the light has gone, i have no more days.
dark days and darker nights.
and i'll never smile again...

Anais Nin

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing

for LOVE

To LOVE is to be able to let go...
To have the strength to let the one u Love go, so they can pursue what they dream.
so that they have the freedom they need... so they can grow...

LOVE is to accept
everything they are, and EVERYTHING THEY WERE...

LOVE is to be there when they need you
to give them the hugs and all the kisses they need...

LOVE is saying 'everything's gonna be ok'
and not lecturing them on how much worse your day was...
listen, dont judge...

LOVE is not obsessing
your love will know their boundaries, otherwise they shouldn't be your significant

LOVE is to grow with your other half. To share beautifull memories. To grow old together. To understand each other. To be each others best friends. To be each others mirrors. To LOVE is to care...

i is...

feeling like i have cameras following my every move...

Love em, or hate em?

their velvety soft...
their colour, oh, so gorgeous...
but they came with tears on their petals...
that fell like a stream the nite before...
so, should i Love em', or hate em'?

am deaf to myself...

i cant hear myself think...
to many people giving their own take on what i should be.
what i should do.
what i should think.
what i should feel.

what about me?
what happens to me?
am i not allowed to decide on my own anymore...
when did i allow that.

i need to block everything out and keep on my track.
but i dont remember what track i chose anymore.
eveybodys ideas have seeped in to me.
sigh...

how now?

what resides in your eyes
the truth or the ultimate lie...
what do you hold in your heart
the desire too please or too slash ones heart to pieces...
what promises u let pass your lips
or are they sweet nothings to keep me sane

have you heard what my heart keeps
have you seen my sad eyes weep
have u heard the break in my voice
has the pause in my words suprise u

so much has happened, so close too home
so much u must endure...
how much will it take for u too break
or will u stay and keep me with

say what u need to say

say what u need to say
dont hold back...

when i go

when i leave, i need all to know i lived...
i've seen...
i've consoled, i've cried, i've danced, i've fallen, i've smiled, i've laughed all off me.
i've loved <3
i've lost...
i've wished and i've dreamed...
but theres so much more i'd miss...

keledek cinta...

found this having lunch...
is it a sign?

i left my heart at sea...

i was there briefly...
but it awoke something in me.
this place where the waves came too rest,
has stolen my heart completely...

i sigh at the color, gem like waters
the sand soft caressing my toes
the sun on my back, giving warm rays of wonder
and my heart was set, there, stolen from me...

am back now doing my daily chores...
but the sea keeps beckoning.
the traquility, the love i felt, i know will never leave...

i'll come back my love...
as soon as can be.
for i yearn nothing more than just to lay,
at the place so beautifully me...

who are you?

who are you?
how do i find you?
i've searched high and low...
i've tried many ways...
i've kissed so many frogs...

who are you?
my better half.
the person who should understand me.
the person who should be there for me.
the person that holds my hand through everything.

who are you?
do you exist even...

colours light me...

ending of one love story never made...

once upon a time,
A was there for me...
A was there when i smiled, was there when i cried, was there when i thought i died.
A was even there when my boyf and i broke up, was there when i found HE whom i loved.
A then left to pursue his life. A had a 'soaring' dream.
and this surrounding did not allow that. So A went away and i never saw A again.
my life went on. i thought of A dearly.
then my life started stumbling to the ground. and A wasnt around to catch me.
i had many falls after that.
some i am still recovering from.
but i could no longer cry on A's shoulder.
i was no longer welcome.
there was one time i was blessed enough to find A.
to sit by A. to smile with A.
i told him my story from when A left.
but things were different.
A answered matter of factly.
i expected more.
i then realized i wanted more.
but my expectations for A was not met.
i was heartbroken, but did not give up.
we parted, A and me.
A to his soaring dream and me, crawling again.
i heard A likes where he is now.
i heard A does not want to come back here anymore.
so, all is lost for me.
A and me could have been great friends. even more i think.
but A's left and never to come back.
all i can say is, good luck A.
much love from me....

gone...

another day has gone and i am still left wanting....

y so?

i smiled, then i decided to cry. in a blink of an eye.
i was crying, then i started to laugh. i dont understand myself.
i loved, then soon i hated. why the sudden change?
i hated, then i was whipped. how did that change again?
its all a total mess. my heart and my head.
as if they have detached themselves from each other.
like they no longer communicate.
no one has been able to help.
i cant help myself too.
why so fragile?
i dont know...

i wanna go back there..... :<

my dancing shoes are sore...

help me legs...
help them please...